Ruaridh’s story
Three weeks after getting engaged to my boyfriend of 10 years on Christmas Day 2025, my world was flipped upside down when my Dad suddenly and unexpectedly died from heart failure at the age of 65.
He was 11 months into early retirement, three months away from collecting his state pension, and just 16 short days away from his 66th birthday. He had been living and enjoying life to the full, as you should in retirement — spending time on the golf course, watching the Scotland rugby team, and supporting his beloved prostate cancer charity.
My Dad was the life and soul. He made an impact on every person he came across, and his death was a huge shock and loss not only to our family, but to the wider community around him. Friends, family, colleagues, neighbours and even strangers became part of our support network in the days and weeks that followed.
I have been left with the pain of not being able to say goodbye to my Dad, or tell him one final time how much I love him. It has only been a few short months, but life still feels like a movie — as though this cannot really be happening to me. Some days, it feels like he has just gone away on holiday or for a few days, and that he will walk back through the door as if nothing has happened.
The suddenness and unexpectedness of it all has been the hardest part. The future now feels different from the one I had imagined. He will not be there on one of the happiest days of my life when I marry my best friend. He will not see me start a family of my own, or be there to watch them grow. The big life moments ahead will still come, but they will feel quieter and different without him there.
Since the day my Dad died, I have found myself telling everyone I know to love and appreciate the people closest to them. Tell them what they mean to you. Do not take them for granted. You never truly know when it might be the last time you see them or speak to them.
Grief has taught me that life is too short, even when you still feel so young. It has taught me that the love I have for my Dad has not become lost or unspent. Instead, it has shown me that I have even more love to give to the people who are still here with me.
Grief has changed me. It has made it harder to tolerate the small, insignificant things that once felt important. It has shifted my perspective on what really matters.
In recent months, social media has also become a source of comfort. Through platforms like this, I have found, met and spoken to people who understand a similar kind of pain. I am so thankful for spaces that allow those conversations to happen, and for the reminder that even in grief, none of us have to feel completely alone.
My Dad’s death changed my life in an instant, but the love he gave us continues to shape the way I live mine.