The Elephant in the Office: Why We Need to Talk About Grief at Work
Although grief can and will be experienced by everyone at some point, it can rarely be left at the office door. Grieving at work is a part of bereavement that doesn't get spoken about much. This is largely reflective of our attitudes towards the mixing of our personal and professional lives - we are generally told not to do it. This can result in a multitude of problems that can ultimately make work life extremely lonely, isolating, and difficult for employees.
Our world completely stops when we experience a bereavement. However, the working world keeps on spinning. On top of everything else you are dealing with, the last thing you want to think about is whether you’re meeting KPIs or smashing your monthly goals. And these feelings aren’t limited to a certain time frame around your loss. Whether your loss happened last week, or ten years ago, it is normal to go through periods of intense grief throughout which you must juggle conflicting priorities at work and in your personal life.
Knowing how to navigate the emotional landscape of your workplace can feel impossible. Grief is like an untouchable topic in a professional environment - too personal to bring to work but also too all-consuming to suppress and ignore all day. It’s the elephant in the office.
But, it is important to remember, that it’s okay to make space for grief at work. You’re not unprofessional; you’re human.
There is no manual on how to grieve at work, and the reality is that every workplace functions differently when dealing with these things. But ultimately, your employers are there to support you in your professional life. If you’re comfortable telling somebody at your workplace about your bereavement (whether that’s last week, last year, or in the last 10 years), it can help them support you the best they can. It also means if you’re having a particularly difficult time, then you don’t have to explain yourself and your situation when it’s so intensely painful. This doesn't mean your personal life is going to be broadcast on a Microsoft Teams message to all of your colleagues, but the people who need to know will be able to understand you better and support you when they need to.
Exploring the support available to you from your work can also be a comforting tool to reassure you there are measures in place to ensure work remains a supportive environment. Whether this is extended bereavement leave, flexible working arrangements, or non-managerial exploring these options and understanding what helps you is so important for both you and your employers. Open lines of communication (if you feel comfortable and want to share) help to normalise the topic of grief and can help foster an honest relationship with your colleagues and employers.
We don’t need to fear our grief when it comes to work. Your loss is part of you, and trying to suppress it from 9-5, Monday-Friday can do more harm than good. Spending the majority of our day/week working, it’s not surprising the importance of mental health in the workplace is an area that is slowly changing. Take things at your own pace, fear no judgement, and try to see that your colleagues, your manager, and (even) your CEO are all humans as well. Remember, you’re not unprofessional; you’re human.
