Kaitlin’s Story

Hello I’m Kaitlin! In September 2024, when I was 22 I lost my dad. My dad was just 53. Our story starts in July 2023 when my dad had a brain haemorrhage. He was left with no mental capacity and disabled. In some ways i lost my dad in that July but he was still here physically and I could tell him things hoping he was understanding parts of it.

In June 2024 my dad was also diagnosed with cancer. I remember having to tell my brother and it was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. Shortly after the diagnosis my dad passed away in September 2024. My dad was truly my bestfriend. We shared the same interests and hobbies. He was so unbelievably supportive of me in everything I ever did. Everything I have, everything I am and everything I ever will be I owe to him. 

Grief is hard. There’s this fear that comes with grief for me, I’m scared that if I start crying I’ll never stop, I fear putting a sound to grief so I sit in the silence of it. I grab hold of every distraction possible and run from the fact something completely awful has happened to me. When I’m happy now I feel guilty as I feel I should always radiate grief but I also feel guilty when I’m sad, I feel like I could change an atmosphere in a room. 

My dad was an amazing man and he gave me the best possible childhood, support and opportunities I could have had. I miss him more and more as the days go by since I last saw him. The feeling of his hugs forever engraved in my brain. A life with love is a life that’s been lived.