Ruby’s story

My names Ruby and I have been volunteering for It’s Time Charity for over a year.

During this time we have hosted many walks, dinners and had lots of laughs. Seeing young people each going through their own grief journey is so empowering.

I leave each meet feeling proud of both them and myself. Speaking about how hard our journeys have been but also having happy conversations relaying such important memories of our parents.

Having a safe space is important and it’s It’s such a special community to be a part of.

I’m now 26 and while I seem like a happy, bubbly outgoing person. There was a time where I wasn’t. 

People around me thought I was handling loosing my Dad pretty well considering I was only 20 and in the middle of a global pandemic. 

But I wasn’t. 

I lost friendships, relationships and myself.

I skipped family celebrations, lost interest in my hobbies and cancelled plans. 

You don’t always see how grief is affecting someone. 

People around me thought I was doing well, friends thought I was still moving forward.

The harsh truth was that I was barely surviving. 

Not a day went by where I wasn’t crying or locking myself away from the world. My mind was moving a million miles an hour, I couldn’t sleep, I stopped looking after my mental and physical health. Honestly I was miserable. 

After a long run of blocking things out and isolating myself I started to actually survive. 

I reconnected with my friends, I made new friendships, I showed up for family occasions and I started to feel parts of myself coming back. 

I started going out again, finding new hobbies, started a new job and began to find joy in things again. At first the grief guilt was heavy but I soon found peace in living. Surviving. All in memory of my Dad. 

Things don’t change overnight and even now there are days where I sit and cry and don’t leave my house.

It took me a long time to figure out that it’s okay to sit in my grief. That I can feel low one day and find joy in the things the next. 

Now day by day, week by week I become stronger, happier and more at peace. 

I still miss my dad, I still miss the fact he is missing out on his life and mine. I still miss the person I was before my grief journey.