Millie’s story

My dad was diagnosed with small bowl cancer at the age of 35 and given 9 months to live. I was 5 at the time and I didn’t understand what my mum was telling me when she said my dad wasn’t going to get better, I never thought that meant he was going to die.

A lot of my childhood was spent only seeing dad in hospital undergoing treatment I have valid memories of seeing surgical staples in his abdomen which I thought were very cool. He was placed in st Ann’s hospice who couldn’t have been more brilliant at supporting the family they even helped getting my dad home for Christmas one year and allowed my dad beloved pet cat to come to visit him in the hospice. My dad slipped into a coma which meant I couldn’t see him for two weeks. (as he had told my mum he didn’t want the children to see him like that.)

He never woke up from it he died age 40 just shy of his 41st birthday. He battled cancer for 4 1/2 years. I remember my mum receiving the phone call and the scream she let out it’s one I have never heard since.My birthday and Christmas were the hardest times getting used to only seeing my mum on our cards.

My dad still is my hero he fought so hard and so long in order to see more of me and my brother growing up I’m so proud of him and I hope he is proud of me to. Being a young carer changes you as you grow up it instils determination. I have taken the lessons my dad taught me and now I care for my partner who has been diagnosed with a grade 2 brain tumour.

I am 22 years old now and although grief always stays with you over time it hurts less. I used to feel guilty about happy times in my life because I felt I should be sad because I didn’t have my dad there to celebrate them but I have learnt it’s important to have joyful memories to look back on when times feel hopeless.