Chris’ story and Grief Must be Love With Nowhere to Go Exhibition
In January 2016, my Mum died due to secondary cancer. She went into hospital in early December and
died there four weeks later. I'd just turned 24, but spent the following year telling everyone that I was 23;
the shock of her death was so huge that my change in age hadn't registered.
Grief had other unexpected effects. I became clumsier, almost as though I could no longer perceive the edges of my body.
I'd bump into the corners of furniture, drop things whilst cooking, and nearly lost my left thumb to a table saw. As I sat on the foor, bleeding profusely, I gasped the words, “...my Mum just died, my Mum just died, my Mum just died,” to explain my lapse in concentration.
I didn't tell many people that my Mum had died; I told even fewer how poorly I was coping. When I wasn't putting on a brave face at work, I'd sleep until midday, only surfacing to eat simple meals, binge watch 90s sitcoms, or play video games. I barely left my bed. Whilst I wish that I'd responded diferently and sought help sooner, I also recognise that I was in – to quote my therapist – “survival mode”.
It has taken me many years (with the support of family, friends, and therapists) to unlearn the habits that I formed in those early months of grieving. I had to make a conscious efort to leave behind survival mode and the antagonism that I felt towards my grief. It's been a gradual shift, but I now recognise that my grief is part of me; an expression of the love that I still feel for my Mum.
This change has been supported by the many conversations that I've had with other people who are grieving for people that they love. Their openness and honesty has allowed me to rearticulate my relationship with grief.
My partner (Emily Simpson) and I began making spaces for these conversations to take place in early 2022. We organise dinners where people bring dishes they associate with people who've died; host karaoke nights where people sing songs in memory or celebration of things (people, places, futures) they're grieving for; and make exhibitions of artworks that gather together the ideas and refections that people have shared with us.
In 2026, Emily and I will be presenting one such exhibition at Warrington Museum & Art Gallery (14 Feb – 19 April). The central artwork is a large textile shelter, covered in brightly coloured quotations. Titled Grief Must be Love With Nowhere to Go, the exhibition is a public space for conversations about grief. It refects upon common – yet often unspoken – experiences of grief whilst respecting that each persons' relationship with grief is unique.
Where to find Chris, Emily and their exhibition:
Grief Must Be Love With Nowhere to Go Exhibition (14th February - 19th April): Warrington Museum & Art Gallery: https://wmag.culturewarrington.org/whats-on/grief-must-be-love-with-nowhere-to-go/
14 February, 12-2pm: Quilting & Conversation About Grief (drop-in workshop)
19 April, 12-2pm: Grief Karaoke