Becky’s story

I am currently in the process of clearing out my parents house, my childhood home. It’s a really difficult time but has made me reflect on everything that has happened over the last few years. It feels like the right time to share my story so others don’t feel so alone.

My name is Becky, I am 28 years old and have lost both of my parents. The reality of this hits me like a ton of bricks sometimes, I find myself feeling angry at the world and the situation, how unfair is it that at 28 I do not have neither of my parents, this shouldn’t be happening to me, this should be happening to someone who is in their 60s.

My mum died in December 2022 when I was 25 and my dad died 6 months ago in February 2026. It has been a whirlwind, a rollercoaster and everything in between. When my mum died, she faced a long and torturous battle with cancer that went on for 3 years, she was essentially given what felt like a death sentence. My dad never coped with the loss of my mum and died of alcohol misuse although I feel it was more like heartache, he couldn’t cope without her.

Losing my mum was so hard, it was the first close family member to die since I was 6 and I struggled with understanding my feelings and emotions. I didn’t really know how to process these feelings or what was normal. We had been expecting it for a while so I had come to terms with it happening and the inevitable but it didn’t make it any easier when she was finally gone. Grieving along with feeling responsible and trying to be a mother figure for my younger sister who was 15 at the time was a lot of weight to carry on my 25 year old shoulders. Added to that was the worry I felt for my dad, I knew he wasn’t coping well within the first few months of my mum’s death, I always felt responsible for trying to help him to live a better life also. It was a really difficult time for me, one that when I look back makes me feel incredibly upset and shocked at how I even managed to get through it whilst still working, trying to enjoy me life to the fullest, and completing my Masters degree.

Over the years since mum died I have got better at understanding and managing my feelings and emotions about my mums passing and the circumstances around which it happened, although it does sometimes hit me out of nowhere. My dad didn’t cope so well and every year after Christmas he would spiral, falling into really bad episodes of depression and binge drinking, it had been like that every year. The circumstances around my dads death were so different as it was sudden, we didn’t have chance to prepare anything and my dad did not have anything in place. The burden of dealing with finances and looking after my sister who is now 19 was unbearable. As much as she is now an adult, she is still so young and depends on a parental figure. I have had to step up and be that when all I wanted was to feel like a child myself and get a hug off my parents.

Losing both my parents has changed my perspective on everything. I no longer want to get married as I can’t imagine not having either parent at my wedding. I feel sad that when I eventually come to starting a family myself they will never meet their grandparents. I have had to mature in ways that most people my age will never understand.

It is always hard seeing everyone else my age enjoy their time with their parents, time is so precious and I wish everyday I could have spend one more minute with mine.

My sister and I are both under 30 and now navigating our lives without our parents. I hope sharing my story has helped other young people not feel so alone.