What to do while you wait for therapy

Waiting for therapy is not always easy, especially after experiencing a significant life event, and it is important to take care of yourself and prioritise your mental health and wellbeing during this time.

Please pick and choose between the ideas suggested below. Try not to put pressure on yourself to implement them all into your life immediately, simply have a look, try them out, and see what works best for you and your body.

• Self-care

  Physical activity

  • Whether you are in need of some gentle exercise like yoga, or cathartic exercise like cardio, any form of physical activity is good to help get your body moving and boost your mood.

  • Going for a walk to get some fresh air can be beneficial for your mental wellbeing and 'clearing your mind.'

  • If you want to enhance the mental wellbeing benefits of your walk, try walking in green spaces like parks and blue spaces like rivers or both! If you are interested in finding out more about the positive impacts nature can have on your wellbeing click here(look at 3. Contributions of Green and Blue Exercise to Well-Being).

  Good food

  There are strong links between diet and mood so what you eat will impact how you feel. It is normal for your appetite to change after someone close to you passes away, as this can disrupt your body's normal cycle. This may make you more or less hungry than normal, and both are natural and completely normal reactions to grief.

  Some tips and ideas:

  • ensure you eat something every day

  • try incorporating some fruit and veggies into your diet, to nourish your body and mind.

  • finding things that are quick and easy to consume, such as a smoothie, can make eating well feel like less of a chore.

  • get together with friends and family to share a home-cooked meal together click here to find out more.

  • cook the favourite meal of your loved one, or one that you always cooked with them, as a way of honouring them and still maintaining a feeling of closeness after their passing.

  Sleep

  It is common for your body to feel exhausted during this time, so it is important to provide your body with more opportunities to rest. Try creating a consistent bedtime routine that allows your body to settle and relax before attempting to sleep. Aim to get 7-9 good quality hours of sleep at night, and allow yourself to rest during the day if you feel you need to.

  
  Meditation

  Whilst mindfulness and meditation may not be for everyone, it is worth giving it a try. Simply put your phone down, sit or lie down in a quiet space where you won't be distracted, and take two minutes for yourself.

  One exercise you could try:

  • Take several deep breaths, pushing out your stomach as you breathe in, and contracting your stomach as you breathe out.

  • Try to focus on your breath and how it feels in your body.

  • Take pauses between the cycles of breath, and notice how you feel afterwards.

  This is a simple example of a mindful breathing exercise, but you can find more details about box breathing by clicking here.

  There are also many guided meditations on YouTube and some free apps, such as Medito, which can help you to keep focused.

  Lettie, one of our interns describes her experience of meditation:

  "I found it difficult to meditate or do yoga in the first year following my father's passing, but the more I practised it and allowed myself time and space to do it, I found it very healing, and now these are practices are part of my life, helping me relax and cope during difficult situations."

• Coping mechanisms

  Journalling

  • Getting your thoughts down on paper is a great way of gaining insight into how you are really feeling, allowing you to express yourself without fear or judgement.

  • This can relieve stress and help with processing the difficult or complex emotions you may be experiencing.

  • It allows you to keep track of how your thoughts and feelings have progressed over time, and how far you have come since the beginning of your journey.

  Alternative methods of expression

  • You could write a letter to or about your loved one. This can help you process feelings about things that you wish you had said to them, or parts of your future you wanted them to see.

  • Doodling can be a great method of stress relief and can help you process your emotions and grieve those you have lost. You could draw a 'grief' journey and track how far you have come.

  Listen to music that reminds you of them

  Music can evoke positive memories that bring joy and good feelings, reminding us of the moments we spent with that person listening to music. Try creating a playlist of songs that remind you of them for when you would like to be reminded of their presence.

  Social support network

  Your social support network is there for you in times of need. Try meeting up with a close friend or family member in person, or FaceTime them if they live far away or you don't feel like leaving the house. Sharing these feelings with others can provide you with comfort and enhance the strength of connections with those around you.

  Lettie, one of our interns recalls her experience:

  "I found it particularly useful to stay in contact with friends during the initial grieving period, rather than isolating myself, as this provided me with the support and mood boost that I needed."

  Listen to a podcast about grief

  Podcasts that discuss the experience of grieving let you know that you are not alone in this, which helps to normalise your feelings and experiences. Here are some examples of podcasts you may enjoy listening to:

  • If we don't laugh we'll cry

  • The Dead Parent Club

  • Griefcast

  • Grief gang

  Online communities

  Joining an online grief community can also help you to feel less alone. Here are some examples of online grief communities and resources:

  • Untangle

  • Meet 'n' Grief

  • Grieving.com

  • Talk Grief

• Immediate Help

  If you are struggling and require serious or professional help, please refer to the links and phone numbers below:

  Cruse Bereavement Support Helpline

  (0808 808 1677)

  9.30 am - 5 pm, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday

  1 pm – 8 pm on Tuesday

  Closed on Saturday and Sunday

  Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide

  (0300 111 5065)

  9 am - 9 pm every day

  Marie Curie Bereavement and Grief Support Helpline

  (0800 090 2309)

  8 am - 6 pm Monday to Friday

  11 am - 5 pm on Saturday

  Grief Encounter

  (0808 802 0111)

  9:30 am - 3 pm, Monday to Friday

  Winston's Wish

  (08088 020 021)

  8 am - 8 pm, Monday to Friday