Breeya’s story

My name is Breeya and I was 16 when my mum was diagnosed with tonsil cancer, about to sit my GCSE’s. It went away several times but kept coming back stronger.

When I was 18 she was diagnosed as terminal and I spent 2 years watching her fade away. She lost her ability to speak, eat and breathe on her own. I lost my mum at the end of my first year at university when I was 20. I was next to her when she passed away but it still didn’t feel real. I had weirdly been grieving for 2 years before she died and in some ways her not being in anymore pain made me feel relived. I went back and finished my first year at university.

It’s been 3 years and I’m now graduating from Loughborough University. In some ways, the grief is harder now, I’ve lost a lot of people along the way. I think that’s the hardest thing, how your relationships with everyone around you changes while you’re trying to cope with one of the hardest losses. It’s also not something everyone can relate to and I’m sorry if anyone can. I miss her every day and it’s difficult when the friends I have now never got a chance to meet her. She was a primary school teacher, kind, funny and the most amazing mum.

Navigating the next part of my life will be hard without her but I’m so glad I learnt everything I did before she died. I am who I am because of her and talking about her keeps her memory alive. I love talking about her, her stories and life before cancer.